Manage or Resolve

At the District Leadership Seminar this year, National has continued to have a section on "Conflict Resolution". Most organizations have changed their focus to "Conflict Management" rather than resolution. Very few conflicts can actually be resolved. Conflicts can however, be controlled, directed and we can learn to cope with any conflicts that we may have. I am a huge advocate of conflict management, I feel that we need to live in the real world where conflicts happen every day, and we must have the skills to control and cope with these conflicts.

I was under the misconception that I had some of these skills. I have a very good friend that did support me in all aspects of Kin. When this friend took on a position and needed my support, I was not there. In order to manage our conflicts there are many options we have. One can collaborate, compromise, accommodate, compete or avoid. I had issues with the decisions that my friend was making. In my mind, I chose the last option of ignoring, for the reason that it was easier to walk away and not have the conflict.

The result of this decision was to make the conflict much harder to manage or resolve. I chose to avoid the conflict with my friends' choices, by doing so, the conflict is not about decisions made, rather they are now about my loyatly to my friend. My devotion to my friend is now the conflict. This issue will take a very long time to manage. Trust is a big conflict and the hardest to resolve.

The moral of this story, is to be upfront and honest with others and especially the Family of Kin. We all deserve better, hiding your true feelings or avoiding an issue, well not come to a good conclusion. I have learned that my friends are the best in the world, and can deal with honesty and openness.